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Downtown Minneapolis on a Summer Day 2013 |
Where's my camera? I am sorry. I still love my camera and I KNOW there is a camera on my phone and it can do all sorts of wonderful things, but I love my camera. I have taken my Nikon with me around the world. I have edited my own imperfect pictures because it was as it happened, while I was out and about doing whatever it was that I was doing, seeing, perceiving, observing...you know, those action word things, called verbs. I didn't say I did it well, good, or qualified the quality. I was using and living those -ING words. The chant of "ING". Today, I felt a hunger for my camera. It started again. I saw moments that I was livING, that felt the familiar crush of words,
'Haya YOU! Take a picture it's gonna last longer!' Really, my skull screams at times. So, I fished it out and realized with incredible sadness that my camera is dying.
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The Urban Art of Lake Street |
I retrieved the memory card and saw images I hadn't played with yet. A forgotten walk, with a few pictures that actually warmed me up when I saw them. The active walkING, the Art viewING, the doINGs of LivING.
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Si |
So why is there this emphasis on the INGs of LivING? Two words: "I WISH". I hate "I WISH". I read a piece that has been circulated on the webisphere for a few years and I happened to see it again. The first time I read it, I thought it was so-so. I shared it. I became part of that blase meme by sharing it. I saw it today. I shared it again. Top 5 regrets of dyING people. Notice the action...even in death there is a process. I stopped and READ it, which means to actually CONSULT, CONSUME, to INGEST the contents. Not just to let the words flicker, but to let it finally reveal itself to some dark recess in my mind. And in my case, the nut finally cracked open with a mustard seed of truth. Two words. "I WISH".
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Minneapolis to the Left and St Paul to the Right. |
Wishes are like prayers. Prayers are like wishes. "PLEASE, SOMEONE ELSE..." wait, are you following this train or are you ON the train yet? Chuga-chuga, chuga...wait. The whistle is going to blow...
"I wish I had..." Nothing is more annoying than a person, who had all of the time in the world and didn't realize they didn't come to the understandING that life is NOT about a passive experience. ExperiencING life means you GOTTA GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY.
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Leaves for Pressing |
You can't be afraid. You have to talk. You have to act. You have to stop on the side of the road and pick up the leaves out of the dirt. You have to OPEN the door and get out there. Those words are FOR ME...
Do whatever YOU want to do. I found my camera, my dying camera. I recharged the battery, but it's still dying. Even my camera doesn't have to wish. It traveled around the world with me and it helped me to remember that I didn't wish to live. I smiled. I hope I find a really good camera that can take as many pictures as this one did, suffer being dropped without breaking, and an ever faithful companion in strange lands and questionable venues.
-ING doesn't include wishING. wastING nor wantING. That's the way I am goING to think about it. That's my choice. It's not an absolute truth...there is no such thing because life constantly is movING.
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