"When you are at one with loss,
The loss is experienced willingly.
He who does not trust enough
Will not be trusted."--23rd Verse Tao
The loss is experienced willingly.
He who does not trust enough
Will not be trusted."--23rd Verse Tao
George Orwell's famous quote about truth being a revolutionary act in times of universal deceit has been pasted all over the world, often linked with another writer's angry words. I know I am guilty of using his quote when I have tried to illustrate my point with all of the injustices I have witnessed. At times, voicing my opinion with the anger of an impotence of how we all seem to be ripped to shreds with our passions when we view our global inequities and abuses of empire powers. Those empires, those power structures are what the individual screams against, just aching to be heard that offers what exactly? Is it a solution? Is it a promise to solve everything? Is it for what exactly?
Today, while trekking across the city, I paused and at random I opened up the Tao to the 23rd Verse. It's/was a nice verse that starts off with listening, but in the version I had, the closing phrase read as follows, "It is by not believing in people that you turn them into liars." For the past five years I had felt the falling away of everything I believed in. The symbols of what I considered to be true was cracking up my carefully prepared and planned out life in order to create the emptiness I needed, but one thing I had not counted on was the fear that came with the emptiness or my personal denial of the fear that was inside. The term, 'real' was gone and Truman Capote's work, "Breakfast at Tiffany's" flashed once again in my mind. I was Holly Golightly, the REAL phoney and I started to laugh because it started to make sense. I believed I was real. I believed I was fake. I was angered by my exposure for the little lies I allowed myself to believe along the way in my life, but I still had it all wrong.
Today, while trekking across the city, I paused and at random I opened up the Tao to the 23rd Verse. It's/was a nice verse that starts off with listening, but in the version I had, the closing phrase read as follows, "It is by not believing in people that you turn them into liars." For the past five years I had felt the falling away of everything I believed in. The symbols of what I considered to be true was cracking up my carefully prepared and planned out life in order to create the emptiness I needed, but one thing I had not counted on was the fear that came with the emptiness or my personal denial of the fear that was inside. The term, 'real' was gone and Truman Capote's work, "Breakfast at Tiffany's" flashed once again in my mind. I was Holly Golightly, the REAL phoney and I started to laugh because it started to make sense. I believed I was real. I believed I was fake. I was angered by my exposure for the little lies I allowed myself to believe along the way in my life, but I still had it all wrong.
It wasn't bad that I believed. It wasn't bad that I lost my faith. It wasn't good either because it was just a state of being. What was wrong was that I wasn't giving anyone a chance to go through their journey. What made my information more true or correct than anyone's? After all, this subject called truth, is merely what is accepted. Truth is merely controlled information. However, we get angry with the controlling factors because, in my humble opinion, we have the strong desire to control ourselves in as many aspects as we can. However, what we forget, is that we teach each other along the way. We don't know it all. We don't like to admit we don't know it all. We also don't all have the same experiences though they can be replicated to a certain point.
It could be said of any system that if one uses disbelief in one's instrument of control (say government), the resulting effect will be a nation of liars. Count how many times you encounter different people throughout the day and don't believe their words. We challenge every compliment as false praise because we judge from our own actions. Is truth a kindness without motive? Are lies really just to keep our ego protected in order to protect an image of how we want to project ourselves to the outside world?
Perhaps, what is the deeper issue is that we embrace lies more than we embrace the truth. Perhaps thinking about the many ways we lie to the world starts from the outside to the inside. We are told the world is dangerous. However, what makes it dangerous? Is it our expectation of there being "bad" people in the world?
I know I am no closer to solving the puzzle, no closer to providing a usable answer than to say just one word. Trust.
What emotion does that bring out in you? For so many, it brings out just two emotions. Love or Fear. Whether we realize it or not the unconditional surrender to either one of those emotions is present in us from the time we were born into this world. We come here blindly trusting or blindly fearing by our ability to bond with our mother. It's why babies die if they aren't touched. We feed off of our need to be loved and to love.
What we yearn for is not to lose that magic of being able to love because more than anything it enables us to see with human eyes the world with possibility. It restores the beauty that goes missing when we only see how bad it is.
Perhaps that is why, throughout the ages, power structures have killed so many men and women that looked at the world differently. We don't need to silence those messengers. We need to pay attention and ask a simple question, are we willing to allow each other to grow into their own power? Are we willing to stop fearing the good that is within us all? Are we willing to see that even though all of us lie for various reasons, there is a deeper truth that is also buried within. The truth can surface if we can look through the embedded lie and have faith that goes beyond the lies we tell ourselves in order to feel safe and secure in the world.
The first person we all have to stop deceiving is that reflection because no matter how open and honest we claim to be, it doesn't really begin until the journey starts within at your own pace. Then your world can finally change because at that moment, you are at peace.
Still failing at life and it feels wonderful because I have another chance above ground to go further down the road.
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